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Jun. 20th, 2008

Meet Daddy

bigfloridabear

May. 10th, 2008

IML = boy College?

Humorous take on IML...

A SIR's I'm seeing, does not want to admit that I'm going to IML. It's not that he's jealous that I'll be around all these leathermen - it's how much POTENTIAL boy/son time I'll get. And how he wants to provide more of that for me...

So, I'm not going to IML - I'm going to "boy college."

Where do I pick up "semester schedule?"

Is there a "greek system?" And how do I pledge?

Who's gonna be the hot professor I have a torrid affair with?

Where will the "underground / off campus" parties be? Will I get invited?

Will my "life credits" count towards an Associate, Bachelor, "Masters", or Doctorate? Could I go for a Doctorate in loyal son, with a Bachelor's in awesome boy, and an Associate's in Daddy in Training?

How many credits should I take?

-me :-)

Apr. 24th, 2008

IML XXX

Less then 30 days to IML. (insert ugly sweating and nail bitting here)

Someone said this to me the other day:

"You'll have a great time, all these people, thousands of leathermen. It'll be overwhelming. Though, you know the first year I sat in the corner for like the whole weekend alone. The year after that it was better."

Yeahhhhhhh...Just what someone like me needs to hear.

A goal is a goal, I will get on that plane alone, and enter that hotel alone.

My only hopes I have is to meet and hug Lolita in person and spend a little time with Thor. I have no expectations around this, I know they are busy and barely know me.

I've got my goals, my hopes, and we'll see about any dreams that come to be.

Apr. 18th, 2008

Resigning, Being a son, Topping

What an odd day yesterday. Really odd.

I woke up with the very painful and upsetting decision that I had to resign from LeatherWerks due to my primary job responsibilities. I am THROUGHLY, THROUGHLY very upset about that. I feel like I have let Bear down, and potentially disappointing him is crushing. Though, I have yet to be able to speak directly with him. I care very much for him and the success of LeatherWerks - I believe in them. I loved educating and sharing my knowledge and making newbies comfortable. As well as building, encouraging more of a straight, bi, pan clientele. I wanted everyone to come in feel comfortable and learn something - anything - before they left. I will so much miss that. All this knowledge, protocol training, love of educating and now I have to figure out where to channel that.

Tomorrow will be three years since I had LAP-RNY (Gastic Bypass) and lost close to 135lbs. As a treat, yesterday evening, I decided to do a photo shoot with SylvesterQ. Really nice New Yorker, now down here. I haven't seen all the pics, but the ones he did show me I was like: "Oh my gawd, that's me!" Hard to see 330lbs when you're licking boots for a photo op.

Then I met a Daddy I am dating (BigFloridaBear) at a Leather Cigar Party/Smoker. I invited quite a few of my friends... Forge, Daddy "Vampire" (BigFloridaBear), and a few very very hot leathermen that I've been lucky to become friends with. It was an awesome time. Somehow, "Hank" - my flogger came out... And I started making demo pigs out of everyone. Oy vey.

I started with a boy I've been training on and off. Moved to a USMC type top...hehehehe... Then the newbie bear that was scared being around all these traditional leathermen. It was about ten of us. My goal was to break-in the newbie and show him, support him, that there's nothing to be scared of and he can trust the men he was around. Success...Yeah. I love, love supporting people's sexuality and sexual identities in a very caring, gentle, loving way.

I went slow and gentle, besides I'm still re-learning myself - I probably had no business doing what I was doing. My arm was a bit sloppy at times - mainly because Forge was there and I didn't want to disappoint him. Making him proud is so important to me. We'll have to follow-up on that... Forge did wear is SIR cover....drooooool. SIR covers....slurp, slurp.

I topped a few other tops that never have bottomed or knew much about flogging. And I taught Daddy "Vampire" the basics as well as a this really really fuckin' hot leatherman.

Daddy then practiced on me - he quickly got the hang of it. He's very very aggressive, can easily go from 80-250 in 3 seconds. (We're working on that... I need a LITTLE time to get into my headspace... hehehe)

Oh, I've been invited - for some reason - to do a flogging demo (as a top) at one of the major leather groups down here. What the heck?!

I don't know if I can do that... or even SHOULD do that. I can teach the basics, but some of these guys are REALLY experienced. Why not get them? Why me?

There are so many better floggers in town then me. My arm is still sloppy and not as tight as I want it. (Though I will say, some of my "flip tricks" have come back VERY quickly.)

Update: Forge says I should do it. I never disobey an order (unless for a health reason.)

Life is so odd. Sad at times, scary, exciting, fun...and odd.

-son chris

May your mind get everything it requires, and your soul everything it desires.
Tags:

Apr. 14th, 2008

SIR "Warnings" (Updated for 2008)

I had a really interest couple of days. Some smaller scenes, and I got in a little "trouble" from Ms. Prick and Forge. :(

1st, thank you everyone for the outpour of emails and support around my last post. Seriously, it's very matter of fact for me - most years. It changed me for good.

Also, I've been wondering if my "warnings" I provide to SIRs, need to be updated... (I think this is funny.)

Maybe I need to get them tattooed on my back?

1. When playing with the son, ensure his boots and feet are bound securely. Accidently, "boot to the head" (ala Dr. Demento) sometimes can occur. Realize that these involuntary movements are a sign that the SIR is on the right track - but can be considered armed and dangerous.

2. The son is sometimes considered..."Protocol Heavy." Protocol strength controls can be found in your toy bag under the "gag" section. Please note that prior programming is in ROM and may be impossible to remove or erase.

3. The son is chatty at times. See recommendation on item 2 re: gags.

4. The son is a smile and affection pig. Wanna get him further, give him a re-assuring smile.

5. The son can switch into a lion mode very quickly, and has been known to "charge" / "dart" / "tackle" SIRs in a good way. You see me start to growl, prepare thyself. (It's a good thing, you're getting me into that wondrous happy place.)

6. The son never disobeys an order - unless for health reasons.

7. The son is never - ever - ever - allowed to drive after ANY kind of scene. As he barely can usually walk or talk.

So, the last one is new, and is based now on some "major" and "minor" scenes I've had.

I had a total of a 20min flogging this past week - nothing overly intense. Though I FINALLY got topped with my own flogger: "Hank." Hank is so wonderful...we love Hank. Anyway, it wasn't overly intense. After class I returned a few phones calls while I took the 5min drive home. Here's the transcript of the two conversations combined - as I truly can't remember what I said to who:

"Chris, are you ok?"

(drooling) "I'm fine, I just got flogged a little...Is that light red?"

"Chris, why are you driving?"

(giddy) "It's only 5mins away, I'm fine, I'm fine. Whoops, that car almost hit me."

"Chris..."

"You know, you know, I've really missed a lot of this."

"Chrisssss..."

"You're the most amazing person I know."

"Chris! I told you are never to drive after playing."

"I'm fine. I'm fine" (ala a drunk person - but I wasn't drinking.)

"Chris!"

"Ok, ok, ok. I'm almost home. Whoops, *I* almost hit that car."

I was on an endorphin rush for about 14hrs.

Then last night I had a very small - 5 to 10 minute, fairly intense spanking and inner thigh beating as I was relaxing in my sling by Daddy Vampire.

As I proceeded to try to get out of the sling in a goofy, "where am I" kind of way. I realized... Hmmm...Maybe Forge and Leslie are right -- I shouldn't be driving. As I hit the walls and corners walking from the second bedroom to the sofa, it MAY have become clear. Towards my defense, it was a really long 20ft walk and the walls and ceiling were moving and I saw hearts, rainbows stars and ponies in my eyes. hehehehehe

The great thing is I'm feeling less and less "odd" and a bit more "common" as I talk to Ms. Prick more and read her postings. "I'm exactly the same way."

Either that, or we're both really "odd." (Please Lolita, please...I know your fangs are drooling on that comment. I beg, I plead. :-))

I debate about am I "this easy?" And is this a good thing or a bad thing? Alas, it is who I am. Maybe I'm just some lazy top's wet dream. lol

Apr. 12th, 2008

18th "Anniversary" of Being Raped

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Apr. 4th, 2008

Quick Poll: Leather BDSM Webinars?

I have the desire, means and the technology to start hosting webinars on a variety of subjects. Based on many wonderful questions I get, I was wondering if maybe I should start conducting interactive Leather BDSM Webinars? Give me your thoughts...

Poll #1165917 Leather BDSM Webinars

Would you be interested in attending a webinar on some of the basic of Leather BDSM Protocol?

Yes
5(83.3%)
No
1(16.7%)

Would you be interested in attending a webinar on Leather BDSM Spirituality?

Yes
5(83.3%)
No
1(16.7%)

The best time for you to attend a webinar is: (Based on East Coast time.)

5PM - 7PM
0(0.0%)
7PM - 9PM
0(0.0%)
9PM - 11PM
1(16.7%)
Weekdays
0(0.0%)
Weekends
0(0.0%)

I'd be willing to attend: (Check all that apply...)

If they were free.
0(0.0%)
Optional donation.
0(0.0%)
Small fee ($5-$10)
0(0.0%)
Fix fee ($20)
0(0.0%)
Sliding scale fee
0(0.0%)

Apr. 2nd, 2008

T- 48 Days (IML)

In 48 days, I leave for IML. Holy cripes. My nerves and excitement are increasing. Though mostly nerves.

I hate walking into new situations alone. And that's what is going to occur. I will get off that plane, get to the host hotel and walk in alone. It doesn't seem major for some, it will be for me.

Once I get to the hotel room, I'll be safe. Embarrassed, shy and nervous to leave my room for a while - don't ask, it's just how I am. I have no idea why. I have put in place a support system if my agoraphobia acts up of friends I can call to help "kick me in my ass" to get out of my room.

It's so funny, I LOVE being social, inspiring people, bringing people together, educating, making friends, giving hugs and smiles, laughing together. And as social as I can be - that first new situation just makes me want to hide. Unless I'm being dragged, then - joy - I don't have to THINK about it. Leaving me alone with my mind is a very dangerous thing.

No good reason, just my default reaction. Well, there are reasons, mostly tied to self & SIR "worthiness."

This will be such a major milestone for me.

Breathe, breathe... Ohmmmmm...Ohmmmmm... :-)

-son chris

Mar. 20th, 2008

Let The Training Begin (WOOO HOOO!)

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Mar. 17th, 2008

Pointy Things & Blood Sports

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